I wish Cassie would just go and… I don’t know, read a magazine once in a while. She might be brilliant when it comes to things like optimising efficiency and solving Rubik’s cubes, but she has literally no aesthetic sensibility. Or if she does, it’s built entirely around functionality, which is all well and good if you’re designing, say, a chemistry lab, but doesn’t work so well when you’re a publishing house. 

Why do I care so much? Well, Cassie has been nominated to oversee the impending office makeover, presumably because her eye for workable layouts might help address the current lack of space between desks. Unfortunately, her lack of flair in the aesthetic realm is going to affect everyone, including me. As a visually-oriented person, I’m uneasy about leaving Cassie to make all the decisions on this project.

While I get that decor isn’t at the top of everyone’s list when it comes to commercial office installations, Sydney is a city that likes a bit of pizzazz with its wheeling and dealing. Frankly, I think there’s a strong argument that decor is the secret of success in business. Putting Cassie in this role could actually jeopardise the whole company. That might sound like a stretch, but it’s a fact.

I should have been given the task, really, given my personal interest in the matter. In fact, when I was younger, I even thought of becoming an office interior designer. Sydney firms would have been lining up for my services, had I gone down that route – clearly, I’m a shoo-in for the project. But because I don’t have Cassie’s ‘sense of efficiency’, I was overlooked.

Okay, so maybe I’m a tad jealous. It’s also possible that I’m glamourising the task beyond what’s actually involved – in reality, it’s likely to be a whole lot of logistical management, with the actual design and decoration being taken care of by a professional. But still.