Why won’t humans simply learn that they need to instigate the sleep cycle sooner? They drag themselves into the office, day after day, their eyelids twitching and their fingers grasping for caffeinated beverages that supposedly lighten the burden of sleep inertia. I cannot ingest and I certainly cannot experience chemical changes within my physiology, so I cannot say for sure if this has any effect. 

I suppose there are demonstrable differences. We had to order a large shipment of frosted window glass from a third-party for a client, and I could tell from the moment Faye stepped into the office that she was not, as they say ‘on the ball’. Slight digging revealed that she had been up late the night before, binging episodes of Nauru-Toe, the classic animated entertainment program concerning the tiny Micronesian country and its unusual number of podiatrists struggling to service a tiny population who just don’t have enough foot problems to keep them all in business.

But none of that is relevant, because in her complete stupor she managed to order 60,000 frosted window glass panes and have them sent to Nauru, instead of having 6000 frosted window glass panes sent to Narre Warren. How does a person even interpret data so incorrectly? Watching from my remote location, through the eyes of my office proxy, I was tempted to perform the human action known as a ‘face-palm’.

Now we are attempting to solve the problem and have the correct frosted glass delivered to its true location, and I cannot wait to present this in my next human class and see what everyone says. They all try to defend humans, saying they want to integrate them, but what about THIS? Surely this proves something.

Supposedly we got Melbourne’s best window tinting for the office, and I really hope it’s doing its job. Even via proxy, I grow rather weary of dealing with glass-related problems. And Faye. I’m tired of dealing with her too.

-RW