Meet The Group

Sister Clarinda

Our dear Sister Clarinda discovered The Passage at age eleven when she got accidentally left at church one Sunday morning and was made an Irish Breakfast tea while she waited for her parents to drive back. They got caught in traffic, which left her ample time to idly contemplate the brew. This unlocked her sixteenth healing chakra gate and she’s never looked back.

Clarinda enjoys extreme gardening, crafting extinct animals from pipe cleaners and competitive underwater chess. She’s currently investigating the dark secrets of Earl Grey, with the results so far described as ‘harrowing’.


Brother Cornelius

Our founder and Tsiologist Guru, Brother Cornelius knew that this discipline was his destiny ever since he debated the spirit of Sun Tzu in a trance after his first cup of Golden Monkey tea.

He spends his days farming moloch lizards, perfecting the art of flag dancing and writing scores for ancient Polynesian hymns.

Cornelius is just about to finish a seven-cycle meditation on Silver Needle tea, with early reports stated to be ‘underwhelming’.


Sister Francesca

A fiery, independent spirit, Sister Francesca joined The Passage after mailing 173 copies of her treatise- Milk in First: What the Government Hides From Us All- to The Passage HQ, causing Brother Cornelius to decide that it would be safer to just let her in.

Francesca brings a great deal of vigour to the society, and is currently developing her own unique blend of Rooibos, Jasmine and extra-hot cayenne pepper (working title: ‘Francesca’s Spicey Afternoon Tongue-Blaster’) which will supposedly grant one the ability to detect gaps in the fabric of space-time.


Brother Zhang

An invaluable member of our society, Brother Zhang has powerful family ties to the East Asian Tea Mafia, allowing The Passage easy access to rare blends so that they may continue their research unhindered.

Were he not stuck in a coma due to an ill-informed choice of biscuit, Zhang would be training butterflies for contact sports, storing canned goods in his garden bunker and protecting his local suburb by night as vigilante legend the Witty Zhang-er.

We’re all hoping and praying that Brother Zhang recovers soon, so that he can continue his investigation into whether square teabags or round teabags allow one to better connect with their secondary backup emergency spirit animal.