Halfway Through Provisions

My eyes literally feel like they are on fire. I’ve been reading provisions from the Wizard of Window Replacement for ten hours now. I’ve got at least another ten hours to go. I had to pull an all-nighter just to get through half, so that I can enter this contract with the wizard. He went […]

Advocating Homes

You know, I really felt like I was learning something when I finished that property course a few months back. Then again, it might be part of the reason I feel a bit listless now. I knew I was learning something vital, and now I’m feeling useless again. Just more hanging around home and trying […]

Room for Ash

Good morning, George! Welcome back to my second blog, where I give secret orders to the members of my highly exclusive club, George. Here we like to shake it up a little and get a bit strange, drinking carbonated water and singing fun songs together. Today Amanda and I will be painting a fantastic design […]

Racing for Earth

This is an announcement for all puny Earthlings. I, Nitrous Dioxyde, have come to your pathetic planet to claim it as my own. I am the fastest driver in the universe, and now challenge your best drivers to a race for the future of your world. If I win, your planet becomes a parking lot […]

Shops Need Air Con

Fridays are always busy at work. It’s good, I have to do the ‘open til closed’ shift at the sandwich shop and time always flies by. I think the constant rush of people and running around like headless chickens helps time go by. We have a lot of regular customers which is nice. Everyone is […]

Dirgely’s Tinting Galore

You know, it’s actually nice to get back to the simple life. I spent so long being this crazy supervillain that I forgot it can actually be relaxing to grind away at a real job, day in, day out. Everyone knows me as the Dirge, the unintelligent supervillain who speaks in the third person, but […]

Foot Struggle

Like every year, at the start of this year I made a New Years resolution that I promised myself I would stick to. Unlike every other year, however, I actually have stuck to this one. Usually I would make a resolution and be determined to stick to it, only to give up a month in […]

Granny Flat Out

I’ve always wanted a house with a granny flat. Why? I can’t rightly say. It’s not about stowing grannies; I’ll tell you that much. I don’t even have any grannies to stow. Nor is it about having more room. It’s something to do with having a space that’s separate from the rest of the house, […]

A Quest Begins

Today I embark on a journey. A journey like no other, like nobody has taken before. I’m going on a quest, the kind you only hear about in stories. There’s another world, hidden all around this one. A world of monsters and heroes. A world of magic. Every myth, every legend, has a basis in […]

Servicing, Intergalactic Style

New year, new me. That’s what they all say, and resolutions of the new year’s variety are notoriously fickle. For me, however, it’s going pretty well. I said to myself that I was going to be a little more adventurous and meet some new people after getting stuck in a rut in 2019…and so I […]