My favourite show is saved, and my favourite professionals are raised high. Everything is going according to my carefully-planned plan, which I planned from the very beginning!

I always knew I was going to be able to use my immense wealth for something except fulfilling my every desire and expensive holidays. Nowadays, I mostly just lounge around the mansion watching television until the urge strikes me to renovate the grounds in some way. Then I look for the best tree removal Melbourne has to offer. They come in to clear a patch of our accursed forest- honestly, if I could burn it all down and build all kinds of fun things in its place, I would- and I get a whole afternoon of satisfaction watching them chop down trees. Sometimes I don’t know what I enjoy more: the sight of tree loppers at work, or Week of Our Lives, my favourite thing to watch on television.

And then, I heard that Week of Our Lives was in danger of cancellation! I couldn’t let it stand. I cling to it as part of my daily ritual. No idea what i’d do if it were off the air, and I know plenty of others feel the same way. Thus I enacted a master plan, combining the two things I love.

I made a massive donation to the network, with the stipulation that they had to heavily represent tree lopping professionals in their next story arc, and they had to be shown to be an important and vital service to the community. I think, after seeing the extra-length revival episode, they did a great job. Now, the tree trimmers near Melbourne, and even across all of Australia, shall receive the boo in business they deserve, and millions will have their nightly entertainment. Everybody wins. I really should’ve jumped on this idea a bit earlier.

-C.C.