Stella Excursion was my favourite show back when I was little and my parents only ever let me watch Italian TV shows. They had this idea that I would forget my heritage if I ever strayed too far into Australian things, so television was all in the language of our native people. Unfortunately, Stella Excursion had even worse special effects than the American show it was based upon, and also it was supposed to be educational. Instead of flying through the stars and having adventures with new civilisations, they mostly just stayed at what was supposed be a ‘spaceport’ and had Earth-based adventures. Like…finding the most effective ducted heating and cooling company, so that the engineers could comfortably work in the warmth, thus meaning that the spaceship could be launched faster.

I watched every single episode…they never actually launched the spaceship. They just loitered on Earth, seeking out heating services in Melbourne and making sure the climate systems  were working properly. See, the show was made by some Italian migrants living in Melbourne, and so they wanted to show a bit of their local life. They had no interest in actually showing space-travel; the title was just swiped for brand recognition. It was just a bunch of good-looking people standing around drinking tiny little espressos and not really doing much work. Then there would be a little educational segment at the end, where they explained the concept of ducted heating and why you need to change your toothbrush every two months.

To be honest, I didn’t learn much. I somehow enjoyed it and I can’t remember why. Maybe I appreciated learning about the heating service providers in Melbourne, and I do still remember the thing about the toothbrush. It kept me bilingual as well, so…that’s cool. Molto bene.

-Toni