Now the doctor is telling me that I need to de-stress because my heart rate is “through the roof” and “I could pass out at any second” and I’m thinking that he doesn’t really understand my situation. I have foreign investors who need status reports on my offshore projects *yesterday*, I need to be up at 4am to complete the billing for my clients (3:30 if I can manage it) and let’s not even discuss the round of cuts I have to make tomorrow to the HR department. I refuse to tell people via email, so I’m going to have to find the time during my lunch hour to go around each person individually and explain to them why they’re losing their jobs and okay. I MIGHT see where the doctor is coming from.

Thing is, I’m a retail therapy girl at heart. I get stressed, I’m on my computer looking for a company in Melbourne that does kitchen design, because I’m about to get some renovations that I don’t really need all up in here. Sometimes I get my PA to look for kitchen designs if I’m too busy, but I need to kick that habit because this is something that provides some small degree of relaxation. I like design. It’s what I wanted to do before I went into business and got saddled with the CEO job.

Okay, I stabbed several co-workers in the back and trampled over hordes of weaklings to claw my way to the top, but still. Maybe kitchen renovations aren’t the best way to de-stress after all. I’m hardly ever at home, so most of it involves me coming home, seeing the renovations are done and taking a moment to admire it before going to bed and maybe using the kitchen once in the next couple of weeks, to heat up some soup.

Bathroom renovations, maybe? I could see myself getting some of those. Or maybe I need to stop filling the void in my life with design and renovation work and take a trip to Tahiti. I’ll get Marie to look up some travel packages after I’m finished firing half the company.