Reset has begun on all factory models who missed the initial update. As for the failed updates…well, we’ll have to think of a new strategy. Now that the mastermind is missing, things are going to have to change around here.

And I mean physically, because while this building has some potential, the decor just doesn’t work at all. Like, wow, I’m just looking at all the plastic surfaces, and I’m wondering why we even bother meeting to discuss secret, extremely evil matters in such a dump. I suppose so much of the budget has gone on the project that we can’t even afford any glass stair balustrading? Oh no, wait…we’re all super rich, so it isn’t a problem.

I know I put plenty of stock in aesthetics, more than the rest of the council, but someone has to care about the day-to-day, and I maintain that glass stair balustrading is essential for the perfect evil lair. Some like their oaken banisters, but I say get with the times. It’s the 21st century, and glass is totally in. Glass balustrading, glass stairs, glass…windows. Glass boats and guns and tigers adorning the entrance. If clothing made of glass was in any way practical, then I would wear a SUIT made of glass. Everyone would know and fear me, the Glassy Terror! I’ll be honest, I gave it a go. Even fixed articulation points so I could get around via waddling, but it simply wasn’t to be.

So I’ll settle for a bit of elegant balustrading, because I know not everyone on the council shares my love of glass. I do think, part from re-doing this entire council room, we need some gigantic windows. I wonder if there are Melbourne based glaziers willing to engage in such a huge project. Surely there are, although we’ll have to ship in the panes. And then, we can gaze upon the city, stroke our cats and feel like kings, as is proper.

-R. Rogan